I mother myself best when...
Gosh, this is a hard one. I never used to Mother myself at all when the boys were smaller. No tell a lie, I used to have a bath once a week. I hate baths much prefer the shower, but having a half hour soak on a Sunday afternoon when husband is watching the boys was heaven.

 Now they are grown and I have more time I am doing a lot more mothering of myself. I have so many hobbies that I do to spend some quality time for me. And of course there is the art, which is therapeutic in itself.

Maybe I need to think about mothering myself more...

I believe that a good mother is...

I believe that a good mother is...

• loves unconditionally
• is good enough
• listens
• supports

Very brief but 4 things that to me are very important.

Society tells me that a good mother is...

Society tells me that a good mother is...
An ideal to look up to and work towards. Society is always judging parents against an ideal that it is virtually impossible to live up to.

The ideal mother never has any problems fulfilling her role, the kids are always clean with hair brushed, they never have odd socks on, Oh no, no sock monster for a good mother. Packed lunches are always healthy and prepared the night before, never a rush to butter bread whilst yelling at the kids to put their shoes on for the good mother. PE kit is never forgotten. Homework remembered and completed on  time.

Today's trance painting. Don't think it is finished yet but it's not talking to me at the moment

My experiences of mothering have been... 2

My experiences of mothering have been... 2

I hate to use cliches but... my experiences of mothering has been a roller coaster ride. Ups and downs, things I did right, things I did wrong, things I did that I wish I hadn't, things I didn't do that I wish I had.

Each of my children {I have 3 boys] have experienced me as a different mother as my experience, knowledge and confidence grew. I remember my oldest saying e.g that I wouldn't let him do such and such that I was letting 2nd or 3rd do and I used to say that he had broken me in as a Mom.

I know that times change and back then was a little different [although I don't believe that it was that different, just different stories and angles in the media now] but I really wanted my children to have a good childhood. Although I was scared off letting them go off and play in the big wide world, I swallowed that fear and let them. And they did do lots of den building, playing in the little pockets of woods we have round here

Basically I did the best that I could at the time and I now have 3 children that are wonderful young men, one a great Dad [and dad to be] himself. The next generation has already started in my family and I love being a Nan to my grandson and am sure I will love being a Nan to my 2 granddaughters that are cooking at the moment.

Felt the need to journal about this twice ;)

My experiences of mothering have been...

My experiences of mothering have been...

• overwhelming
• anxious
• joy
• sacrifice
• pride
• love
• encircling
• frustrating
• sadness
• guilt
• aspiring to being 'good enough'
• expensive
• the most connected I have been with other human beings

Sseptember 4th sketch and journal

As an adult, I experience my mother as...

• frustrating
• prone to exaggeration and fabrication
• memory waning
• still my mom
• in need of support that at the moment I can't give
• controlling, as in likes to buy stuff for my home, e.g. curtains which means she gets to pick them
• still my mom [needs repeating]
• keeper of the family story

September 3rd

Previous journal entries
01.09.13
In this session of moonshine, I intent to ,,,,,,,,,,

• attempt to complete more of the work [p[and I know that work isn't the right word but brain won't come up with the proper one] and immerse myself more in the spiritual side
• explore the mother/crone/life/death role in light of my recent brush with mortality.
• more fully explore the crone side of mother, in light of my waning fertility and already having 1 grandchild with 2 more on the way.
• explore the mother relationships within my family.

02.09.13
When I hold the word 'mother' in my awareness, I feel.....

• encircled
• engulfed
• encircling
• a sense of continuity, forwards and backwards in time
• part of a  sisterhood
• connected to Earth

03.09.13
When I was a child, I experienced my mother as...

• loving
• confusing
• supportive if I wanted the same things as she did
• manipulative
• a massive presence
• someone to stick up for me
• scary